A happy, healthy relationship doesn’t just happen. Sure, some couples seem to have it all, but in reality, every couple, has to work hard to have a good relationship.
The truth is, every person is different, so there is no one formula for the idyllic marriage. And in all honesty, ‘idyllic’ is not something you should expect: we are human, after all. Nobody is perfect. But hopefully your choice of partners is at least a great fit for you.
What’s their secret?
Even the happiest, most compatible couples go through trials and tribulations. But happy couples always manage to move beyond their problems with minimum damage and to feel love another day. Even though there isn’t a simple equation for happiness, putting your relationship first, repairing injuries quickly, and offering forgiveness are some of the most important keys to resolving conflict. Going a step further there is one thing you should tell your partner every day and it is not what you think. This one thing will help you avoid conflict most of the time.
The Five Love Languages
Every couple is different. And individuals are different. It’s not uncommon for two people who love each other deeply to have opposite ways of expressing love and affection.
As author Gary Chapman has said, there are five basic ways that people prefer to receive and express love. Some people are very affectionate and place a great importance on physical touch, while others are uncomfortable sharing affection anywhere but in private. Some individuals enjoy giving and receiving gifts, while their partner may not place a high value on this type of expression of love. Some express love through acts of service, such as doing things around the house. Other people cite words of affirmation or shared quality time to be the most important ways of showing love.
Learning your partner’s style of giving and receiving love can help you feel closer. And, I believe that regardless of how far apart you may be from each other’s ideal love language, there is one thing you should tell your partner every day. Each day you can lovingly connect through one simple thing that your partner is sure to respond to: gratitude.
Two Words, Not Three
Being in a marriage or any committed relationship takes patience, love and respect. Staying together and thriving in your partnership is probably your ultimate goal. To get there, remember to pause frequently and notice how your partner improves your life.
Make sure your partner knows how important she is to you, every single day. Be sure to mentioning something he’s done that you are grateful for. Its more important than saying ‘I love you,’ ‘I miss you’, or even reminding him/her why you fell in love in the first place. By simply telling your partner ‘thank you’ for a specific thing at least once a day, you will increase the happiness in your relationship, no matter how different your preferred expression of love might be.
Now that you know the one thing you should tell your partner every day, go have amplify the positive feelings in your relationship with gratitude.
If you’re at a point in your relationship that you are struggling to find things you’re grateful for, you may need some professional help. If that’s the case, give me a call at (719) 544-2016 for a free consult. I’ll be happy to hear about your relationship and help you get back to being happy and grateful.