How Happy Couples Behave Differently From Unhappy Ones

How Happy Couples Behave Differently From Unhappy Ones

You’re tired of being that hum-drum, unhappy couple that nobody likes to hang around. Unfortunately, you haven’t a clue about how to reverse your lack-of-relationship-bliss trajectory.

Today you’re in luck!

Because if you learn how happy couples behave differently from unhappy ones, you can become a happy couple if you want to.

You’ll be able to “copy and paste” the happy couple behaviors right into your relationship story. And like magic, when you change your actions your feelings will change, too.

I think of it as a wonderfully quirky law of nature: Feelings follow actions. The feelings don’t come first.

So, in this case, feeling happy as a couple follows acting like happy couples act.

Happy couples have discovered the formula that guarantees they’ll each feel safe and loved. And that’s what we all deeply long for…to feel safe and loved.

You and your partner can get to where you both feel safe and loved by agreeing to do the things that happy couples routinely do.

In no particular order, here’s how happy couples behave differently from unhappy ones.

Happy couples:

  1. Hug several times a day (and hold it till they each relax)
  2. Accept that their partner is going to be a pain in the ass sometimes
  3. Always put their relationship first
  4. Laugh — a lot!
  5. Keep good boundaries with people outside their relationship
  6. Are one another’s best cheerleaders
  7. Indulge in a little PDA (both in public and in private)
  8. Talk to each other about anything and everything
  9. Spontaneously kiss when nobody’s watching
  10. Have their own insider jokes and movie quotes
  11. Put each other to bed at night
  12. Go on date night every week
  13. Take on the world (and problems) as a team
  14. Never, ever throw one another under the bus
  15. Tolerate their partner flirting…just a little
  16. Figure out how to fight fair
  17. Broker a win-win outcome on all decisions
  18. Play together…and not just in bed
  19. Tame their anger
  20. Keep their words and actions in alignment
  21. Accept that the’ll always disagree about a few things
  22. Talk about the hard stuff:  money, spirituality, sex, in-laws
  23. Get good at reading body language
  24. Are proud to be seen together
  25. Apologize immediately, understanding that quick relief is golden
  26. Never blame or shame
  27. Remember they can’t read each other’s minds
  28. Look forward to hanging out together
  29. Know just how to soothe their partner
  30. Focus on the positive instead of the negative
  31. Use love and not threat or retaliation to resolve conflict
  32. Declare their commitment to one another
  33. Negotiate their sex life in a way that feels good to both
  34. Eat healthy food, exercise, and meditate together
  35. Spend time focusing on each other by ditching their digital devices
  36. Show empathy and compassion
  37. Celebrate special days with cards, gifts, or surprises
  38. Keep things fair
  39. Show up for the tough stuff: funerals, medical procedures, illness
  40. Frequently say or do things that make their partner feel special

Now that you know 40 ways that happy couples behave, I encourage you to infuse these habits into your own relationship. Try it for a month and see if you don’t feel happier.

If you find that you’re feeling entirely too hopeless about your relationship to even try to put these ideas into practice, then you probably need some professional help. A good couples counselor can help you save your relationship and be happy again. I’m a seasoned couples counselor in Denver and I can help you become a happy couple fast.

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