An affair will rock any relationship to its core. If your marriage has been devastated by infidelity, staying together might seem impossible.
Far too often, couples suffering from the aftermath of an affair lose hope and give up on their relationship surviving, much less thriving.
But, I don’t want you lose that hope.
If you do want to stay with your spouse after an affair, your marriage can survive. Not only that – it can thrive and actually becoming better than it was before.
Your marriage isn’t automatically doomed. While you both have to be willing to repair what’s been broken, you can create a new relationship that gets you feeling closer than ever.
Not sure if your relationship is meant to thrive?
Take a look at these three ways in which it can.
1. Allow The Rebuilding Process To Be Painful
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when you’re trying to repair your marriage is to gloss over how hurtful the affair was.
You can rebuild and make your relationship stronger than ever. But you’ll have to go through the painful parts along the way.
No pain, no gain!
You’re going to have to talk about the affair and things you don’t want to talk about. And you’ll need to hear things you don’t want to hear.
Additionally, you’ll go through many moments of doubt and uncertainty. Staying steady during these hard parts will make things more comfortable in the long run. And will help you eventually create a secure and happy relationship again.
2. Work To Restore Trust
We all know that trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Unfortunately, an affair shatters trust.
It can be super challenging to rebuild trust when one partner has stripped it away by lies and cheating. But, it’s not an impossible feat.
If you’re the partner who had the affair, you’ll have to give up your privacy and secrets for the long haul. Your spouse might want to look at your phone or your computer. Let them. Give them whatever they need to feel safe within the relationship.
And, if you’re the betrayed partner, give yourself lots of time to rebuild trust. It won’t happen overnight.
Be careful not to live in the past. If you’re both committed to making the relationship work, you’ll want to be willing to genuinely trust your partner again. A little bit at a time.
Getting to a place of forgiveness (or at least acceptance) is a goal to move toward. Naturally, you won’t ever forget about your partner’s infidelity entirely. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t come to a place of calm.
3. Seek Out Help
Am important step you can take to help your marriage survive and thrive after an affair is to get help.
It’s not easy to talk about infidelity in a relationship. However, trying to navigate these choppy waters alone isn’t likely to work. A well trained marriage counselor can help guide you through the hurt, anger, distress and into a place of calm security.
An expert couples counselor will help you have the necessary (but difficult) conversations and show you what it will take to rebuild the broken trust.
A marriage counselor that specializes in affair recovery can help both of you learn how to share your emotions and be more vulnerable without escalating into a fight. Something that you’re likely struggling with.
Affairs happen for a reason. A good couples counselor will help you understand why the affair happened. Understanding why it occurred will help you address issues you might not even realize are a problem in your marriage.
Finally, a marriage counselor will help you know exactly how to move forward so that you can create a secure and happy marriage, and thrive.
While the three suggestions listed here are essential to recovering from infidelity, every affair is different and impacts couples in unique ways.
When you seek out marriage counseling, you’ll be getting the individualized care your relationship needs.
If either you or your partner had an affair, and you desperately want your relationship to work, feel free to contact me.
As we work together, you’ll learn that your relationship can survive, thrive, and be the best it’s ever been—even after infidelity.