Even the most healthy, loving relationships are likely to hit roadblocks from time to time. And these roadblocks are often too big to navigate on your own. If you’re wondering whether you need couples counseling ask yourself these 5 questions to help you make the right decision.
If your marital struggles turn into recurring problems, you might start to ask yourself “are we going to make it?”
The answer to this question might lie in the question itself. Because if you are asking yourself this question, it shows that you care enough about your relationship to want to make it work.
However, the desire to get your relationship back on track and knowing how to make that happen, are two different things.
Often, couples need help repairing damage in their relationship and help learning skills to create a lasting, secure and happy future.
Do We Need Couples Counseling?
Are you going through a rough patch in your relationship? If you’re wondering whether you need couples counseling ask yourself these five questions:
1. What are our life’s dreams?
What dreams do we share? Since the answer to this question can change over time, it is important to talk about your relationship dreams on a regular basis. This will help you stay up to date on understanding one another’s dreams and desires.
Specifically you can ask, “If we could have our ideal relationship, what would we need to change?”
2. How do we truly feel about our relationship right now?
In what ways have you both changed since you first fell in love?
Couples can go through many changes, both as individuals and as a unit. Some changes improve relationships, but unfortunately, some changes create problems.
Take an honest look at your current situation and ask yourself how you feel. Do you each feel valued, secure, cared for, and like your partner always has your back? If not, you have a problem.
3. How effective is our communication?
Do you end up fighting every time you need to have an important talk?
When a couple can’t communicate openly and understand each other completely, it is nearly impossible to resolve problems for good.
Learning ways to master your communication will help you build a deep sense of security and grow your happiness together.
4. How is our emotional intimacy and sex life?
Do you tell each other everything? Do you feel a deep emotional and physical connection, passion or desire, and like you’re getting what you need in terms of closeness and intimacy?
Take the time to get a clear understanding about how one another feel about this topic.
5. Are we both willing to change?
You might pause and ask yourself, “What happens if nothing changes in our relationship?”
If the answer to that question is bleak, don’t hesitate to get some help.
If you’re unhappy with significant parts of your relationship, both you and your partner will need to commit to making changes in order to have a relationship that makes you feel secure and happy.
Rekindle a Deeper Connection
How you and your partner respond to each of these five questions may provide insight into things that need to change within your relationship. By talking through them, you’ll begin to understand each other better and feel more connected.
But you may also find that you need help to create the relationship that you desire.
A good marriage counselor can help you identify what your ideal relationship looks like and understand why you’re having the problems you’re having. In addition they will help you learn how to communicate in ways that makes you feel understood, rekindle your intimacy, and help you make the little changes that will transform your relationship into the one you dream of.
If you feel that your relationship has hit difficulties that you can’t seem to get through on your own, it’s probably time to consult a professional.